An introduction to Faith

Bear with me, please, as I get this off my chest and write about something very important to me.

Those of you who know me well know that I have been through many struggles in my life. Starting at a young age, I was handed that no child should ever have to encounter. To my uneducated mind, these seemed like proof that if there was a God, He was a cruel and unjust one. As time went on, and more of these 'roadblocks' were put in front of me and living seemed impossible, I all but completely gave up on any sort of faith. I thought of suicide many times, even came close to attempting it on more than one occasion.
I would cry out for help in many ways other than these suicidal tendencies. My dreams were haunted, my days were full of tears (as I sit writing this I cry at the pure emptiness I felt) and I would literally scream out to a God who I felt was completely abandoning me, along with countless others. I remember riding my scooter home one day, and behind my helmet, where the surrounding strangers could not possibly know what this girl was thinking, I screamed. I cried. Not the safest to thing to do while on a motor vehicle with two wheels, but I literally could not stop the flow. The tears stung my hot cheeks as I wondered again and again what I had done to deserve a life like this.

I've now learned exactly why.

When I met my husband, I knew how he felt about his Christ. I knew that he could not and would not marry a woman who was not a Christian, and more importantly, I knew that he had his strength BECAUSE of the trials handed him, not IN SPITE of. I began to search for more answers for myself. I, too, wanted that peace. I spoke with many people, and when I was ready, I went to him for my encouragement. He was honored to be used as a tool in helping me find the Way again.
We prayed together. It moved both of us to tears. And for the first time in oh so long, I felt comforted. We continued to pray together, and I continued to feel the comfort. As I continued my search for Truth, it became obvious to me- through all those seemingly awful events in life, when it felt like my world was crashing down on me, I was being held. I was held so tightly by my precious Savior that He wouldn't let go, no matter how far I pulled. I wasn't ready to feel it, but there He was. Carrying me through every storm.

As I grow older, and as I continue my search for Truth (because does it ever truly end?) every song I hear and every story I read leads me to new conclusions. This blog will be my way of sharing those adventures with you, because I can't possibly fit even one of them here. Since it will be a look into the past as well as the present and future, hopefully we'll be seeing some updates fairly often.

In Him,
Amber