"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
I've had the great privilege lately of having some wonderful friendships continue to build. This is fairly new to me; at least, it's been a while. I've noticed that, for me anyway, the more I search for answers in my spiritual life, the more I find answers in other areas of life as well. Lately, this means my friendships, and how to build them up and create strong, lasting ones.
This weekend was the 5 year anniversary of a dear friend's death. It's amazing how many lives she touched and continues to touch, even in her absence. I told a new friend of mine that I would need to keep busy on Friday night to keep my mind off of it, and she happily obliged. She and her boyfriend came over to play games with Patrick and I, and to be honest, I haven't had such a good time in a LONG time. We, as couples, seem to fit well together, and it's nice that my being friends with her comes with a friend for Patrick as well :). This friend and I are both fairly skeptical towards new people- females, especially, yet to me it seemed almost immediately when we met that there would be something strong there. I already feel this connection to her, this pull to be there for her no matter what. So I'm trying. I'm listening, and I'm learning from her. It's a good feeling.
Another friend of mine is pregnant with a precious little boy. She and her husband have a little girl already, yet when they were expecting her, they were young- teenagers- and felt they didn't get to truly enjoy and celebrate the pregnancy. So yesterday, I co-hosted a baby shower for her with the intent of letting her celebrate this one to her heart's desire. We had games and presents, lots of yummy food, and lots of her friends came over. She couldn't stop smiling- I wonder if her cheeks hurt. I have only truly spoken with her minimally about how she felt about it all, but it seems my mission was accomplished- she felt a celebration in her heart. It feels wonderful knowing that I've done this for such a dear friend, such a wonderful, vibrant woman, and I can't wait to do many more things for her.
These friendships are teaching me more about life and what it means to find connections. They show that it really IS better to have 2 minds, for I know that when I am down, as I was Friday, there will always be someone to lift me up. I know that when I work together with these women, we each will reap great rewards, and I know that seeing a smile on their faces and hearing it in their voices will always mean more to me than almost anything else.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
For everything, there is a Reason.
So I decided to start blogging for a reason. I didn’t just want to write about my experiences, I wanted to EXPLORE them. You see, I have no idea what to do with my life. I know that I’m called to be a great mommy and a good and faithful wife to Patrick, but I feel like I’m being called to do more- I just don’t comprehend what, exactly. I feel this tug to minister to people in crisis. I really feel like working at a shelter of some sort, or at a children’s hospital, will help me to lead people to Christ, but how to do that? I don’t know anything about the Bible. I don’t know enough about the stories, or the verses, or meanings behind everything. All I know is how blessed I feel MY life is, and that I try to live by example.
But how does one become the teacher when they don’t have the materials to do so? That’s what I’m doing, through this. I’m listening to God more, taking my time with Him, and seeking answers, whereas before I was pretty dormant with it all, expecting His desires to show up on a platter- and well, it just doesn’t work that way. We have to want it.
I’m starting my very first Bible study this summer- and I’m more excited about this than almost anything- it only falls short of my wedding day and meeting my daughter. Please pray for my strength to endure through this, because I have become intimidated in the past by such things and not allowed myself to really open up to it.
As I read more scripture and different materials on Christian beliefs and living, I’ll put my thoughts onto this blog. I hope to be fully honest and open, even if it means leaving myself vulnerable, because that’s what God requires of us.
But how does one become the teacher when they don’t have the materials to do so? That’s what I’m doing, through this. I’m listening to God more, taking my time with Him, and seeking answers, whereas before I was pretty dormant with it all, expecting His desires to show up on a platter- and well, it just doesn’t work that way. We have to want it.
I’m starting my very first Bible study this summer- and I’m more excited about this than almost anything- it only falls short of my wedding day and meeting my daughter. Please pray for my strength to endure through this, because I have become intimidated in the past by such things and not allowed myself to really open up to it.
As I read more scripture and different materials on Christian beliefs and living, I’ll put my thoughts onto this blog. I hope to be fully honest and open, even if it means leaving myself vulnerable, because that’s what God requires of us.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Prayer
"We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express..." Romans 8:26
I'm reminded of a story I heard when I was younger about children praying. I don't know the exacts of it, but a young child was on his knees before bed one night when his mother walked past his room. She heard him saying his ABC's... after he was done, she asked why he said his ABC's rather than something specific, and he answered, "Sometimes I can't figure out my thoughts, but God can."
This has remained with me for many years: at first as a way to get get out of praying. I mean, if God can know our thoughts and feelings before we can, why pray? He can sort it out, even if we don't bother with the time for it, right? Then it became a way of acknowledging that no, I may not know how to word everything, how to pray for what I should, but that's not the point at all. God values His time with us, and He wants us to value our time with him just as much. This means taking the time out of our busy schedules to talk with our Savior.
Even if we don't have anything specific to pray for or be thankful for in that time, prayer should be a daily ritual. We should make an effort to let the Heavenly Creator that we love Him and are thankful for His time he gives to us. After all, doesn't He have millions of people to look after? Yet when we pray, it's as if we have gone into a soundproof room with Him alone and he is listening to only us. It's a wonderful feeling, the one that we matter to someone so much that we get that special time to ourselves.
But- how does one pray? Many believe in bowed heads, folded hands, on bended knee. This isn't my style at all. I feel embarrassed by being on my knees. It's a humbling experience. I suppose that's the purpose of it, to bow humbly before our Father, yet I am not yet comfortable with it. I'm still working on it. I'm uncomfortable in a room full of people praying, even if the prayer is in unity. It's always been something very private to me. Perhaps because when I pray, I do whatever I feel at the moment- sometimes I shout my prayer, sometimes I cry during it, sometimes I'm laughing in thanks at the amazing blessings given to me and grace I've been shown. It's embarrassing to share these intimate conversations with others, but I've always felt I should.
Another thing is that I have a really, really hard time asking for prayer when I need it. Some people have no problem asking friends, family, or even complete strangers for prayer. Me, not so much. I struggle with this, because typically I only ask for prayer when I'm in need of something to happen, and it feels like asking for help- something my pride is not good at. Understand- asking for help from God and asking someone else to ask God for help are completely different.
The bottom line to all this- there is no right or wrong way to pray. Say your ABC's. Sing a song. Write in a prayer journal. There is no shame in praying in public or in the privacy of your bathtub (yes, I've been known to do that as well). The important thing is time with our Blessed Redeemer and reminding ourselves of the magnitude of His mercy and love for us.
What does prayer mean to you?
By the way- here's asking for prayers. Please visit Angie's blog and pray for her and her family.
I'm reminded of a story I heard when I was younger about children praying. I don't know the exacts of it, but a young child was on his knees before bed one night when his mother walked past his room. She heard him saying his ABC's... after he was done, she asked why he said his ABC's rather than something specific, and he answered, "Sometimes I can't figure out my thoughts, but God can."
This has remained with me for many years: at first as a way to get get out of praying. I mean, if God can know our thoughts and feelings before we can, why pray? He can sort it out, even if we don't bother with the time for it, right? Then it became a way of acknowledging that no, I may not know how to word everything, how to pray for what I should, but that's not the point at all. God values His time with us, and He wants us to value our time with him just as much. This means taking the time out of our busy schedules to talk with our Savior.
Even if we don't have anything specific to pray for or be thankful for in that time, prayer should be a daily ritual. We should make an effort to let the Heavenly Creator that we love Him and are thankful for His time he gives to us. After all, doesn't He have millions of people to look after? Yet when we pray, it's as if we have gone into a soundproof room with Him alone and he is listening to only us. It's a wonderful feeling, the one that we matter to someone so much that we get that special time to ourselves.
But- how does one pray? Many believe in bowed heads, folded hands, on bended knee. This isn't my style at all. I feel embarrassed by being on my knees. It's a humbling experience. I suppose that's the purpose of it, to bow humbly before our Father, yet I am not yet comfortable with it. I'm still working on it. I'm uncomfortable in a room full of people praying, even if the prayer is in unity. It's always been something very private to me. Perhaps because when I pray, I do whatever I feel at the moment- sometimes I shout my prayer, sometimes I cry during it, sometimes I'm laughing in thanks at the amazing blessings given to me and grace I've been shown. It's embarrassing to share these intimate conversations with others, but I've always felt I should.
Another thing is that I have a really, really hard time asking for prayer when I need it. Some people have no problem asking friends, family, or even complete strangers for prayer. Me, not so much. I struggle with this, because typically I only ask for prayer when I'm in need of something to happen, and it feels like asking for help- something my pride is not good at. Understand- asking for help from God and asking someone else to ask God for help are completely different.
The bottom line to all this- there is no right or wrong way to pray. Say your ABC's. Sing a song. Write in a prayer journal. There is no shame in praying in public or in the privacy of your bathtub (yes, I've been known to do that as well). The important thing is time with our Blessed Redeemer and reminding ourselves of the magnitude of His mercy and love for us.
What does prayer mean to you?
By the way- here's asking for prayers. Please visit Angie's blog and pray for her and her family.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
An introduction to Faith
Bear with me, please, as I get this off my chest and write about something very important to me.
Those of you who know me well know that I have been through many struggles in my life. Starting at a young age, I was handed that no child should ever have to encounter. To my uneducated mind, these seemed like proof that if there was a God, He was a cruel and unjust one. As time went on, and more of these 'roadblocks' were put in front of me and living seemed impossible, I all but completely gave up on any sort of faith. I thought of suicide many times, even came close to attempting it on more than one occasion.
I would cry out for help in many ways other than these suicidal tendencies. My dreams were haunted, my days were full of tears (as I sit writing this I cry at the pure emptiness I felt) and I would literally scream out to a God who I felt was completely abandoning me, along with countless others. I remember riding my scooter home one day, and behind my helmet, where the surrounding strangers could not possibly know what this girl was thinking, I screamed. I cried. Not the safest to thing to do while on a motor vehicle with two wheels, but I literally could not stop the flow. The tears stung my hot cheeks as I wondered again and again what I had done to deserve a life like this.
I've now learned exactly why.
When I met my husband, I knew how he felt about his Christ. I knew that he could not and would not marry a woman who was not a Christian, and more importantly, I knew that he had his strength BECAUSE of the trials handed him, not IN SPITE of. I began to search for more answers for myself. I, too, wanted that peace. I spoke with many people, and when I was ready, I went to him for my encouragement. He was honored to be used as a tool in helping me find the Way again.
We prayed together. It moved both of us to tears. And for the first time in oh so long, I felt comforted. We continued to pray together, and I continued to feel the comfort. As I continued my search for Truth, it became obvious to me- through all those seemingly awful events in life, when it felt like my world was crashing down on me, I was being held. I was held so tightly by my precious Savior that He wouldn't let go, no matter how far I pulled. I wasn't ready to feel it, but there He was. Carrying me through every storm.
As I grow older, and as I continue my search for Truth (because does it ever truly end?) every song I hear and every story I read leads me to new conclusions. This blog will be my way of sharing those adventures with you, because I can't possibly fit even one of them here. Since it will be a look into the past as well as the present and future, hopefully we'll be seeing some updates fairly often.
In Him,
Amber
Those of you who know me well know that I have been through many struggles in my life. Starting at a young age, I was handed that no child should ever have to encounter. To my uneducated mind, these seemed like proof that if there was a God, He was a cruel and unjust one. As time went on, and more of these 'roadblocks' were put in front of me and living seemed impossible, I all but completely gave up on any sort of faith. I thought of suicide many times, even came close to attempting it on more than one occasion.
I would cry out for help in many ways other than these suicidal tendencies. My dreams were haunted, my days were full of tears (as I sit writing this I cry at the pure emptiness I felt) and I would literally scream out to a God who I felt was completely abandoning me, along with countless others. I remember riding my scooter home one day, and behind my helmet, where the surrounding strangers could not possibly know what this girl was thinking, I screamed. I cried. Not the safest to thing to do while on a motor vehicle with two wheels, but I literally could not stop the flow. The tears stung my hot cheeks as I wondered again and again what I had done to deserve a life like this.
I've now learned exactly why.
When I met my husband, I knew how he felt about his Christ. I knew that he could not and would not marry a woman who was not a Christian, and more importantly, I knew that he had his strength BECAUSE of the trials handed him, not IN SPITE of. I began to search for more answers for myself. I, too, wanted that peace. I spoke with many people, and when I was ready, I went to him for my encouragement. He was honored to be used as a tool in helping me find the Way again.
We prayed together. It moved both of us to tears. And for the first time in oh so long, I felt comforted. We continued to pray together, and I continued to feel the comfort. As I continued my search for Truth, it became obvious to me- through all those seemingly awful events in life, when it felt like my world was crashing down on me, I was being held. I was held so tightly by my precious Savior that He wouldn't let go, no matter how far I pulled. I wasn't ready to feel it, but there He was. Carrying me through every storm.
As I grow older, and as I continue my search for Truth (because does it ever truly end?) every song I hear and every story I read leads me to new conclusions. This blog will be my way of sharing those adventures with you, because I can't possibly fit even one of them here. Since it will be a look into the past as well as the present and future, hopefully we'll be seeing some updates fairly often.
In Him,
Amber
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